This is a very weird spring for me in a lot of ways. Some of my interests have changed, and I don't get as fired up about certain things any more. I still want to help people, but I don't want to help people who don't want any help, which is good. Moreover, I don't want to help people at my own expense. In fact, I am increasingly interested in taking care of myself first and foremost, partly because I like myself a lot more these days than I probably ever have before, and partly because I have come to believe that "being the change I wish to see in the world" (or whatever that quote is) is the only way, to say nothing of the fact that if you keep drawing water from a well without a tributary to feed it, that well is going to dry the hell up.
Also, the chances of other people changing their minds because of something I said (especially here on Facebook) are very, very small indeed. People love and cling to their opinions, myself included, and tend to seek information that serves to reinforce them, myself included. So, meh: The things I say are mostly preaching to the choir, including this, which is fine. I'm not a mind-changer; I'm a verbalizer. Agree with me or don't, and I increasingly (fortunately) could give a shit if you don't. Also, understand me, or don't understand me: Either way is fine, since I usually don't fully understand myself. I'm done with trying to be perfect. I've lived most of my life trying to be perfect, whereas I'm at my best when I'm just letting myself live, and doing so imperfectly. I'm okay with that. But it makes me uncomfortable, too, because it doesn't fit (in some ways) with my self-concept -- because I'm supposed to be a "nice guy." I mean, I am a nice guy, but I'm other things, too. Whatever. Who cares? Happy Monday. Comments are closed.
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